Tag Archives: New Moon

Twilight Books in One Sentence

In honor of the Literal Harry Potter titles, which I found to be legendary, I decided I would do Twilight ones.  Then, after actually thinking about this task, I realized it’s hard to rename them since they’re one or two words instead of Bella Swan and yada yada.  So, instead of new titles, I decided to summarize each book into one sentence.  Without further adieu…

Twilight: Clumsy girl obsessively loves creepy dude who sparkles and who has to try not to eat her.
New Moon: Sparkle creep leaves clumsy, obsessed girl and she thinks her life is over and then leads on an annoying dude until creep comes back.
Eclipse: Obsessed clumsy girl forgives sparkle creep and its all hunky dory except someone keeps trying to kill her and annoying dude is pining for clumsy girl.
Breaking Dawn: Sparkles and Clumsy get married before she’s even old enough to drink, then he knocks her up with the killer baby, and then they try to survive the most anti-climatic “battle” to ever exist.

And we all assume they live happily ever after. I think my IQ just dropped. Please suggest even better summaries.

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