Twilight Books in One Sentence

In honor of the Literal Harry Potter titles, which I found to be legendary, I decided I would do Twilight ones.  Then, after actually thinking about this task, I realized it’s hard to rename them since they’re one or two words instead of Bella Swan and yada yada.  So, instead of new titles, I decided to summarize each book into one sentence.  Without further adieu…

Twilight: Clumsy girl obsessively loves creepy dude who sparkles and who has to try not to eat her.
New Moon: Sparkle creep leaves clumsy, obsessed girl and she thinks her life is over and then leads on an annoying dude until creep comes back.
Eclipse: Obsessed clumsy girl forgives sparkle creep and its all hunky dory except someone keeps trying to kill her and annoying dude is pining for clumsy girl.
Breaking Dawn: Sparkles and Clumsy get married before she’s even old enough to drink, then he knocks her up with the killer baby, and then they try to survive the most anti-climatic “battle” to ever exist.



And we all assume they live happily ever after. I think my IQ just dropped. Please suggest even better summaries.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

2 thoughts on “Twilight Books in One Sentence

  1. Summary for the series, without having read any of them: An evil took forged to bring the average IQ of the world down.

    Hmm…come to think of it, the story of how this series ruined our youth might be a better book.

  2. Kate says:

    I think these summaries might be better than the actual books.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: