stacie/bristow vs. the bird

i hate birds.  i really do.  they’re loud, they poop at inconvenient times when you’re outside and they’re just plain mean.  i’ve been chased/bit/clawed at by birdzilla (canadian goose) at least twice while i was trying to save her stupid, ugly baby from being bit by a dog.  i’ve been chased by birdzilla just because i was fishing.  last year i was bit by a bird walking to my car.  and every single  year, birds attack my windows.  i have a huge dirt print from a morning dove flying into my window.

today started the annual “let’s attack stacie’s window because i want to nest in this tree and oooo, there’s another bird!  ATTACK!”  that other bird?  yeah…it’s the stupid thing’s REFLECTION.  and you’d think after hitting it once or twice it might get the point that it’s killing brain cells from ramming into glass.  nope.  not at all.  over 6 hours of attacking.  over 500 (i’m just throwing out a number) times of slamming into my window.  i closed the blinds, still attacked.  i put paper up to minimize the reflection, didn’t work.

i just don’t understand.  why hasn’t it learned?  this is a yearly event.  katie said the bird likes me and wants to mate with me.  um, ew?  dad came home and i asked him if i could shoot it.  a coworker offered me her dog so the dog could chase it out.  i went right back to the bb gun option.  mom said i’d be hard pressed to hit the bird with a bb gun.  i reminded her i hit a squirrel when i was 10 when shooting with my brother.  don’t attack me PETA people.  i grew up country.  this is how we do when nature is taking apart our attic to make a nest.

my pea brained cat has been camped out on my bed and doing this all day:

i completely and utterly understand the statement “Bird Brain” now.  totally makes sense.

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