in the suite where my office is, there’s two groups that are separate, but intertwined. the communications people from my side (me and my boss) and the one guy from the other group work together a lot. constant communication, joke sharing, poking fun, legit conversations, strategy discussion, etc. the other guy had a say in picking me and my boss has a say in picking the other guy’s new “mini.”
when i got word that he was getting a mini, i went to him and said he should consider hiring a male. the following conversation (paraphrased) ensued:
“is this for datability, stacie with an ie?”
“no. this is because aside from you, my boss, your president and that random guy i see once every 6 weeks, this office is women. that’s a lot of freaking women. we’re like a pool of estrogen.”
“so, you’re hating on the women.”
“noooooo tall one, i’m just saying. you and bosso and i work together a lot. i edit video for you, you give me a larger vocab. so, the minis have to get along too.”
“and let it be known, though this sounds bad, i’m more of a dude than bosso. i watch football like it’s a religion. he wears Euro style scarves and cardigans. i get along better with guys. they like sports. they mean what they say. they get sarcasm. see my point?”
“yeah, i see. just so you know, i dipped into the office pool and now she’s my wife.”
“that’s great, but that’s not my goal. and if you hire a girl, that’ll never happen.”
so the tall one starts his search for his mini. he is most deserving because my bosso and i each work 50 hours a week. plus or minus. tall one is doing the same, plus some. i ask him how it’s going, he says he has 2 guys. i get excited and he goes, but they’re fresh out of college. whatever, like i said, not for datability. a while later he says their writing samples aren’t the greatest. fail. that’s important in communications. so my bosso goes to sit in on 2 interviews with tall one and both end up being girls. the following conversation commenced as i walked in the door this morning to hear part of the conversation…
“so, are you picking a girl?”
“looks like it.” i hang my head.
“damnit.” the whole room laughs. “no offense ladies, but we really do need some testosterone.” they agreed.
“i told you their writing samples are bad.”
“i knowwwwwwwww. i swear, we need to hire a line backer.” i walk to my office as does tall one.
“hey tall one?”
“yes, stacie with an ie?”
“did you ask them their sports team preference? you know we can’t have dallas fans.” (i’m serious. he’s going along with the joke)
“nope, i didn’t”
“come on! this is important. what about coke vs. pepsi? bosso legit asked me that.”
“REALLY?! he asked you coke vs. pepsi?”
“Of course. do you see how much we ingest?
“Oi. Another female.”
“Looks like it.”
Estrogen pool is about to commence.