dan snyder, grow a freaking pair

The story that started dan snyder’s boo hooing

business practices fail

dear dan snyder,

i regret to inform you that you are not the supreme being of the universe.  sorry, but that power belongs to God.  and i swear he looks exactly like morgan freeman.  i also regret to inform you that even though you’re a good business man (mainly because you can make money), you’re complete sodding crap as an owner of a football team.  and you’re also a giant baby.  you’re suing a reporter.  a journalist.  a person who barely survives above the poverty line because he wrote an article about you that you didn’t like.  that’s called life my friend.  happens every freaking day to the following list:

  1. obama
  2. bush 2
  3. nancy pelosi
  4. dick cheney
  5. mahmoud ahmadinejad
  6. mubarak (currently)
  7. lindsay lohan
  8. kate of jon and kate plus 8
  9. octomom
  10. ryan seacrest’s ability to be freaking everywhere
  11. twilight people

do i need to continue or do you have the point yet?  the article didn’t hurt you personally.  you just got pissed off that some reporter researched your past indiscretions and massive annoyances to the fans of the washington redskins.  have you not gotten the point that we legitimately hate you?  we had 3 super bowl championships before you and none since you.  to quote mckenna (because i support fellow good journalists), 31-36: Record Joe Gibbs had as coach with Dan Snyder as owner; Gibbs went 140-65 without Snyder as owner and 8-3: Record Marty Schottenheimer posted in the last 11 games of the 2001 season, his first as head coach of the Washington Redskins. Snyder fired him anyway.  are you seeing a pattern mr. snyder?  you suck ass at being an owner.  you expect to have a perfect season with the high profile names you paid a butt ton for.  no no snyder, it doesn’t work like that.  if you change the coach every year and the plays, how do you expect your team to have chemistry?  why do you think the colts are so good?  the owner stays out of the way and lets the coach do his job.  peyton and his boys have a NO HUDDLE OFFENSE.  because of chemistry. because they just know where peyton’s going to put the ball.

why do you think the pro bowl game looks like crap?  because these guys have had 1 week to practice together.  teams take YEARS before they mesh well enough to put on a good season.

get your head out of your ass, snyder and take a good, long look in the mirror.  because i’m pretty sure lawsuits against the vast number of disgruntled fans won’t go over too well in court.

to the Jewish Community Center guy: Come on man.  It’s a joke.  People do it all the time.  Chill out, take a breath.  Or maybe a Xanax.  I love Jesus with all my heart and soul and it doesn’t offend me to see a high school style scribble over a picture. click here to read another take on that situation.

So, to be clear: WCP at most implicitly trafficked in anti-Semitic tropes—a breathtakingly dumb allegation, but that is the Center’s allegation; the Center, by contrast, explicitly—not allegedly, but indisputably—associated a small alternative newspaper with “the genocidal Nazi regime.” Nice.

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