Best Ways To Kill Stinkbugs

these effing buggers are a damn nuisance.  they are everywhere in my house, my friends’ houses, the house i dog sat at…everywhere.  it’s 18 friggin degrees outside and they are still alive and smelling!  one flew into my hair the other night right after my shower and it did its stink fest on my head…dude.  i was livid.  so i have comprised my favorite ways of killing them.

1) burning them in the fire place.  i get sweet satisfaction hearing their stinky bodies crackle.

2) drowning them in the toilet.  slow, drawn out death.

3) drowning them in boiling water.  it’s not the same as the toilet.  you can see them release some stink and struggle against the heat and the water.  double the satisfaction of the toilet.

4) spraying them with mousse.  this is one of my best friend’s favorites. chemical death.  awesome.  (please note, this method is typically combined with method 5.  chemical death alone takes much longer than we east coasters have to spare in our day)

5) hair dryer on high.  slower than the fireplace or a match, but still burning them with heat.  must suck to have your insides boil.

6) garbage disposal.  my new favorite.  drop a few down there and turn that switch on.

7) freezing them.  i’m not sure if this one is actually effective.  i threw a few into the snow last night and i think they were still there.  maybe they’re cold blooded little suckers and just slow down and will start moving again when it’s warm…we shall see.

8 ) Spraying them with Raid for Ants.  This method is a little smelly because Raid isn’t the most pleasant. Another form of chemical death.

9) Bug zapper. Also known as “setting the mood” in West Virginia.

10) Microwave those bitches.  Not sure if it’ll smell, but it’ll be fun to watch.

This blog also has a nice list.  Some organic, some hilarious.  If anyone has a taser, I want to try it.

down with you stinkbugs!


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