Dear Taylor

Dear Taylor Swift,

Are you kidding me?  I know this is a little late, but I’ve been kind of busy.  Do you live in Disney World Princess Land in your mind?  Because FYI, that land is not a place where most people live.  You know, reality?  Have you met reality?  Oh, I think you have and I think reality’s name was John Mayer and your resulting song of Dear John.  Really?  No, really really?  Did you honestly think that would end in a fairy tale?!  It’s John Mayer.  JOHN FREAKING MAYER.  He has a lyric that says “Made a bad name for my game ’round town.”  Um, hellooooooooo.  And you have a lyric that says, “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?”  Um, no, you’re an adult who decided to get involved with John Mayer.  Again, JOHN MAYER.  A notorious womanizer and man whore.  So no, he shouldn’t have known, you should have known.

And don’t think we are not on to your game.  You date someone and it ends nicely (aka Taylor Lautner) you give them a nice song.  Bad break up or mishap (a Jonas, John Mayer) and you blame it alllllllllll on them.  I wonder what Mr. Gyllenhall’s song is going to sound like.

Taylor, it’s time to grow up.  Take responsibility for the fact that you were the idiot who got involved with John Mayer and thought you would dazzle him like Edward Cullen does to Bella.  No no, you don’t sparkle, your Grammy’s sparkle.  And Johnny has ’em too.

It’s great that you sing songs that people get addicted to and then top 40 radio stations play 1,000 times in a day.  It might make my ears bleed, but I, unfortunately, don’t rule the radio stations or the music world.  (If I did, American Idol wouldn’t exist and neither would autotuning).  But seriously, stop playing the victim here.  You acted like a stupid girl.  Grow up.  Move on.  And don’t write songs trying to get sympathy because again, it was JOHN the man whore MAYER.

Sincerely,

Stacie with an I.E.

ps- I love John’s music much more than yours.

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