“it looks like crayola just vomited”

every year my best friend and i make a gingerbread house. we started it at some point in middle school, after we first met. and every year, we have a theme. and in each theme, we must somehow incorporate a Hanukkah bush seeing as best friend is a half Jew and therefore i’m Jew-ish by association (also known as a halfsie.)

i was amazed we even had the chance to do it this year. our lives just seem to keep speeding up and we’ve started being friends via a few texts or sometimes a phone call. she was definitely laughing at me while being on the phone with me when i got stuck on a hill during a freak snow globe style storm and was yelling out, “F**k you snow. F**k this whole, ‘oh, it’s just going to sprinkle or some flurries. this is NOT flurries. this is a, it’s a, it’s a…” “snow globe.” “YEAH! and where the heck is my hot man in flannel to rescue me? i’m pulling the damsel in distress card because i cannot push and drive the car at the same time. screw you volvo. screw you for not being 4wd. you’re SWEDISH.”

tangent over. anyway, this year we both looked slightly zombie-ish/vampire-ish/in need of a beer as we walked in to target along with everyone and their mother. including the mother of some of the kids i teach. so we walk back to the christmas area and lo and behold, there’s a PRE-BUILT gingerbread house. she looked at me, i looked at her and bam, in the cart. this is the first year we’ve cheated and let me tell you, it saved us so much time.

we planned on baking three types of cookies while decorating the house. worked out well. we decided on the “whoville” theme this year. that meant tons of color, an explosion of decorations and things didn’t have to be straight. works for me considering geometry and i have a hate-hate relationship. the result was fantastic, in our opinion. but it’ll never top the year we did a log cabin.

“Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze! Dah who dor-aze! Welcome Christmas, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day. Christmas Day.”

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