i speakez le boy.

first and foremost: thank you vets.  none of you probably read this, but thank you.  especially to my sister and my brother-in-law.  sometimes i hate the military because you’re away from us, but you’re my selfless heroes.

now, onto the other things.  in my quarter of a century minus 2 life, i’ve read some girly magazines.  you know, cosmo, YM (is that even around anymore?), marie claire and all the other ones with quizzes and such in them.  and typically, there’s an article or 500 about men.  what men like. how men think.  is he really into you or is he just not into you whatsoever?  and men have even chimed in on these articles.  but what amazes me is that even though men chime in, women still don’t believe what they say.

here’s what i know because i speakez le boy.  women over analyze, over think, and nit pick every little detail, action, smile, word and eye blink a man does.  women say one thing and mean a different thing.  and when men think they have figured out what the woman said, they’re actually wrong because that meaning has changed, again.  sometimes i don’t think we women even know what we mean or what the other one means.

men on the other hand are much simpler.  men aren’t “simple” per se, as in, they have hopes, dreams, wants, goals, etc.  but men, mean say EXACTLY what they mean 90% of the time.  i’m going with 90, but i’m sure it ranges.  if a guy says to a girl, “i think you’re pretty,”  he means, “i think you’re pretty.”  the end. women, however, think they hear, “i want to marry you and be the father of your children.”  no.  no no no and no once more.  he means he thinks you’re pretty.  in some douchebaggery cases, he wants to get in your pants, but he means you’re effing pretty.  stop planning your wedding and the names of your children.

some girls start planning their dates if a guy just SMILES at them.  “oh, but what kind of smile was it?  was it a ‘you’re the only girl in the room’ smile?  or a ‘hey, i know you?’ or a ‘oh, hey, how are you?’ or a flirty smile or what?”  um, he smiled.  that’s it.  he. fudging. smiled.  if i smile (a real, genuine one) it means i am happy to see the person. i feel like men mean the same thing in a smile…

also, if a guy likes you, he makes it obvious.  does this ring a bell from “he’s just not that into you?”  highly possible because a lot of that is true.  what are my credentials in saying this seeing as i’m a girl?  1) i’m a tom-boy, 2) i’m one of the boys, 3) i prefer blunt and to the point over multiple meanings (this is one of the reasons i became a news journalist), 4) i actually ASKED multiple members of the male species, 5) i have a brother

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