To Kill A Mockingbird

Me: So, I got bit by a bird today
Brother: What?
Me: A bird bit me.  On my shoulder.
Brother: No sh*!.  You’re the only person I know who’s ever gotten bit by a bird.
Me: Yeah, and tomorrow I’m bringing a tennis racket.  Bite me once starts a war.
Brother: Bring it home so we can mount it.

Dad: Was it grey?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: Mockingbird or Catbird.
Me: Thanks encyclopedia.

Me: I called my dad, he said it was a mockingbird. 
Yoda: Bahahahahahaha.  You literally got bit by a bird?
Me: Yep.
Yoda: That’s amusing
Me: This enforces my hatred of birds.  First geese, now mockingbirds.

Mom: Where did it bite you?
Me: My shoulder.
Mom: Did it draw blood?
Me: No, I think it got mostly shirt.
Mom: Shirts.  You wear multiple layers.
Me: Thanks mom.

Me: Wait, are there laws protecting said bird?
J-Mo: Yeah.
Me: Damnit.  Bugger knows he’s protected and I can’t retaliate.
J-Mo: Blame Hitchcock.
Me: Curses on you Hitchcock.

Yoda:  If you kill the bird in self defense its not your fault.
Me: That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 

Today, I got bit by a bird.  Legit, a BIRD.  I was walking to my car from my office.  I took the horrendous, but saves you 15 seconds, stepping stone path and this is what I get.

Bird: 2   Stacie: 0


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