the life of a cashier

i work at lowes. i have to pay my bills because i have an unpaid internship.  i guess it helps that my boss at my internship thinks i walk on water, but that still doesn’t pay for Oscar (my volvo) each month.  so, i work as a cashier. at lowes.  and this is way i see it:

1) i am not your hon, baby, sweetie or whatever.  do not address me by these pet names.  it’s awkward
2) no, the smell of the hot dog stand does not drive me nuts with hunger because 1) ew and 2) you get used to it
3) thank you, i know my hair is pretty and that people pay a lot to get my natural look. i’ve known this since i was 2
4) do not flirt with me when you’re old, balding and have no teeth.  it’s not funny.
5) why must you call me a cutie pie?  that makes me feel awkward.
6) no, i do not know what the hell a widgiemasucker does and where to find it. ask someone else.
7) this is 2010, use a card or cash, don’t write a check
8) if people are in line, do not take your time searching for your license when you’re writing a check. and, see number 7
9) you’ve been shopping for years. remember what the cashier scans. we can’t just type it in with the price you say and don’t get frustrated when we double check.
10) yes, when i do a gift card, it does work.  don’t question me because you don’t get the process.  don’t say that i did it wrong. and don’t waste time asking if i can check it when 5 people are in line.
11) i don’t care about your life story,  but i’ll give you mine if it’s applicable
12) most of the time my smile is not real.  i’m paid to smile.

moral of the lowes story: oh dear God, i can’t wait to have a career.


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