i am NOT from baltimore

let’s get this straight.  i am from the land of farms.  i do drive a yuppie car named oscar but i do not drive him into big cities.  one, because i hate trying to figure out where i am in a big city, like baltimore. and two, i hate driving in cities.  traffic.  honking horns.  people getting angry with you and going around you illegally.  people cutting in and out.  more honking, especially if you can’t figure out where you are…not a happy place.  and it’s very hard for me to find a happy place when i’m driving.

this is why i hate baltimore city driving:
1) a 45 minute drive according to a garmin named henry took 1 hour and 24 minutes.
2) people like to park in actual road names where it says no parking
3) people like to stand in the middle of the street and stick their arms out in my lane trying to hail my car as a taxi.
4) trying to figure out which streets are one way and how to loop around to get back to the point i need to be
5) trying to park
6) getting honked at constantly because you’re going 2 mph slower than they want you to
7) cars.  everywhere.  not following the law.

i swear, if i were a cop, i’d make so much money for the state.  i cursed out loud a lot and even more so in my head.  and can someone explain to me why on earth it’s easier to leave the city than get in it?

and another reason i say i’m not from baltimore.  i can’t stand them.  i hate the ravens.  i only go down there for the aquarium and maybe camden yards and the zoo.  that’s it.  i am a DC girl.  i do not say hon. i love the redskins and the caps.  i can get around in DC.  i go there for fun. i dress, talk and act like a normal person.  if you find this offensive, i do not apologize because i am allowed to not like things and voice my opinion.  1st amendment.

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