because i am oprah winfrey

on sunday i went to my sister’s house to hang out with her, brother-in-law, kaos the dog and my pretty little niece.  i have expressed before how funny i think my family is.  maybe it’s just me, but still.

after buying niece an entire carters store and a nice nap, sister and i decided to do a work out.  she has the biggest loser DVDs because they work you nice and hard.  and i mean HARD.  the first time i did it with her, i looked at the ceiling and went “Dear Jesus, TAKE ME NOW!” my butt hurt, my thighs hurt, my stomach hurt, i just ached all over the first time.  this time it was a little easier, but still hard.  at one point, niece finished her bottle, so mom went down to get more ounces and handed niece to sister.  sister then used niece as a weight.  she was doing arm curls with a 14 pound baby. i wish i had a video of her.  i almost fell laughing.  mom laughed in shock. 

then i took niece and we watched rainbow brite and serendipity on youtube.  having a niece means i can relive childhood.  then it was time to figure out dinner.  sister and i peered into the freezer, fridge and then pantry.  she and brother-in-law had lots of ingredients, but no dinner.  i said that, then found a fruit bar and grabbed one.  sister glared (i get distracted easily).  she goes, “we treat you like you’re 5 because you act like it sometimes.  stay on task.  dinner!!” i stood on my tippy toes and went, “I TOLD YOU YOU HAVE INGREDIENTS, BUT NOT A DINNER!” she stood on her tippy toes and laughed, “no matter how hard you try.  i will always be taller.  even when we’re old and have osteoperosis, i will STILL be taller.”

at dinner she did an impression of oprah winfrey that had me almost on the floor rolling.  here’s a brief clip:
“I’m going to invite you on MY show because I am Oprah Winfrey and then I’m going to tell you what you did wrong because I am Oprah Winfrey and I am always right.  I’m going to berate you, tell you why you’re horrible and I’m perfect because I am Oprah Winfrey.  Then I’m going to use some of my 40 million dollars to help the privelaged, not the under privelaged in Africa because I am Oprah Winfrey and I rule the world.”

i love my sister.

sunday was hockey and i was almost in tears.  team usa hockey is still gold worthy in my mind.  ryan miller, you are a stellar goalie.  hold your head up high man.


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