today i took the younger one to starbucks before blizzard #2 begins it’s reign over everyone’s lives. and can i just point out that outside was eerie. like mother nature just knew what’s coming. like it was preparing. aside from the zooming of cars, the chatter of people on cell phones and the jingle from a dog’s tags, it was quiet. a grey, cold, silent quiet.
but now, back to the point. the younger one and i got our tall, skinny lattes, started to drink them and then switched with each other. we were enjoying our conversation about God knows what when a seemingly kind older woman asked if she could join us. we were at the chairs surrounding the fireplace. we assumed she meant just sitting with us. but no. i’ve always been told that assume means make an ass out of u and me. i didn’t think that this would be applicable in that moment. but it was. i told the younger one we should try to win john mayer tickets. this woman asks me where he’s playing and i tell her and we get to talking about music. then, and i don’t remember how, we got on the topic of blood types and personality traits. i think she mentioned something about me being outgoing and that’s a trait of O blood types. i told her that my type wasn’t O and that started a half hour conversation. she analyzed the younger one’s personality and then, no lie, she analyzed the younger one’s FOOT. the younger one looked at me in shock and horror. i could only laugh and be surprised. oh, by the way, this woman, and to quote English friend, is entirely mental. she likes feet. she likes looking at them and seeing their reflexes and oh, she tries to figure out your blood type by your arch. i’m not joking. she told us that our blood types have a strong impact on our personalities. like astrology. and, our blood reacts to foods a different way. some guy tested blood types by putting them next to certain foods to see how they react under a microscope. sounds cool. sounds legit. but then she said that chicken isn’t good for my blood type. well, chicken is my meat of choice, so there’s no way i’m giving that junk up. she asked if i had any heart issues and i said i have to get lipid tests (cholesterol). she told me that eating chicken is most likely the reason my lipid tests aren’t good instead of it being hereditary. chicken versus genes? seriously? dude. you FAST before a lipid test. AND, during my last test, i hadn’t had any chicken. ha.
finally, the lady left. told me to look at eatright4yourtype.com to see if it is chicken that messes with my blood. she thanked us for letting her join. then, as she was leaving, the younger one started to laugh, but i told her not yet. wait until the lady is really gone. when the lady was finally out of sight, we both burst into laughter and looked at each other like, “THAT REALLY JUST HAPPENED! REALLY. IT DID!”