and the answer to the question is…..

WATER!  H2O!  EAU!  AGUA! VODA!  MIZU!  VATTEN! 

got the sniffles?  drink water.
went for a run?  drink water.
your pee is yellow?  drink water.
crying?  drink water because you just depleted your supply.
got cramps?  drink water.
hungover?  drink voda. (funny how voda (russian) and vodka look similar…)
feeling low? drink water.
throwing up? drink water.  and then after you puke again, drink more.
trying not to laugh? drink water, but watch it, it might go up your nose.
blew your nose? drink water.
got the hiccups? drink water from the other side of the glass.
have to poop? drink water.
obama made another promise to save america? drink water.
your best friend is going on a date and you’re not? drink water.
someone just texted you? drink water.
watching 24? drink water because you’re probably sweating about jack bauer.
drank too much starbucks? drink water…but you’re going to have to pee.
feeling anxious? drink water.
al gore talked about global warming? drink even more water!
stalking on facebook? drink water.
miley cyrus did another thing to prove she’s not a tween? drink water.
friends with christi? drink water.  because she tells me that every time and now it’s our joke.

basically, the new answer to every question is drink water.

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